I spent the better part of today waiting. I went to bed last night with a pain in my ankle. I woke up this morning with an intense pain in my ankle, foot, and calve. I have a hereditary condition my sister calls "Old Lady Foot". My mom calls it "Fat Foot". My dad simply calls it "the gout". Most of my friends call it "Oh My God What The Hell Is Wrong With Your Foot?"
"It's full of fluid" a doctor told me six years ago. He had just run a series of tests - MRI, ultrasound, x-ray, one involving a feather and a needle - and had come to the conclusion that nothing was wrong with my bones, veins, or lymphatic system. I was just holding fluid in my left foot. Like a camel.
But this past week that same foot was giving me some agony. So, I visited a clinic in Newark, New Jersey. Again we did the litany of medical tests. Feather - tickles. Needle - prick! X-ray - bones accounted. Ultrasound - it's a boy! But this time the technician discovered a lump 0.5cm x 1.3cm right above the inside ankle bone. Even after 9 months in France my metric skills aren't so great (except with temperature - I know now that 30 degrees Celsius is really hot), but I'm thinking 0.5 x 1.3 is probably the size of two peas. Maybe smaller.
However, I can gauge the lump in terms of pain. On a scale of "hitting thumb with hammer" to "child birth", it's about a "dropping anvil on foot with every step".
I waited in the waiting room, I waited behind a screen, I waited in the x-ray lab, I waited on the ultrasound table. And I go back later this week to see a podiatrist. I'll probably have to wait some there too.
As you can imagine, at this moment my brain is overflowing with jokes about podiatrists. And anvils. I'll keep you posted.
© 2005
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