Joan Rivers in the Elevator

My first week at the Lycee, my students asked me a variety of interesting questions about life in the US. "Do you have a gun?" and "How big is your car?" were common, class after class. My favorite question though was "Have you ever met a celebrity?"

-- Well, my real favorite was the kid who asked me if I smoked crack. I pretended not to understand his accent. "What? I can't understand you. What are you saying? What is that word?" It's a neat trick. --

Anyway, they were thoroughly unimpressed that I haven't met Eminem, Tupac, or Puff Daddy. But here's my Joan Rivers story.

This summer, in New York, I was in an office building elevator on a hot day. Very hot. No AC in the hallways or elevators. And the elevator was slow. SLOW. Finally it arrived and I pushed the lobby button to head home. Almost immediately, the elevator stopped on the very next floor, with me sweating and cursing. In walked a short woman and a fat man. She was blabbing away asking him about their schedule. "When are we in Atlantic City?" and it occured to me that I know the voice. Out of the corner of my eye I look down and see the taut skin of a thousand facelifts. 'That's Joan Rivers!' I think. Suddenly the slow elevator and the heat weren't so bothersome.

We continued down, she continued to babble, and the elevator stopped again, this time on the 3rd floor. She moved to exit, her companion (manager? attorney?) stopped her, "Not our floor Joan" and she looks at the man getting into the elevator and says, rapid fire, "You can't come in! It's too hot!" He smiles (who wouldn't at the shock of having Joan Rivers yelling?) and she says "OK! but hurry up! This guy's been waiting even longer than me" and she points to me.

And I said ....... (drum roll please)

"I know! I was thinking of making you wait."

which made her laugh.

and that made me feel good.